If people work with a skilled mediator, most conflicts can be resolved in a way that benefits everyone.

Mediation is an interactive communication process that resolves the obstacles which are causing conflict and preventing solutions. In this safe container all parties are fully supported and protected. Because the goal of mediation is to identify and meet the most needs of all parties involved, everyone comes out a winner. 

The mediator is a neutral third party who uses specialized communication techniques to help the disputing parties reach a voluntary, mutually satisfying agreement. Mediators do not decide who is right or wrong or issue a decision. Instead, the mediator will guide the parties to work out their own solutions. This means that no one will be coerced or pressured to make any agreement outside of their own free will. A skilled mediator will possess the qualities of non-judgement, compassion, analytical thinking, creative problem solving, and strong leadership while simultaneously applying effective conflict resolution strategies. 

Mediation is a proven conflict resolution technique as old as human history itself. 

Today, mediation is used in every culture across the globe, resolving everything from family disputes to international cease-fires.

NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION

Amber's approach is fundamentally based in the compassionate teachings of the Center for Nonviolent Communication (NVC). This "language of life" is a simple yet amazingly effective tool. Identifying the underlying universal needs that we all share and are trying to get met in any situation helps to transform unconscious patterns of defensiveness and aggressiveness into empathic connection. 

THE SCIENCE OF EMPATHY

New discoveries in the area of neuroscience show us that empathy is a specialized biological function of the brain. In fact, we have an entire network of neurons whose specific purpose is to generate empathy. Scientists have called these "mirror neurons" because they only activate when we perceive that someone else understands our experience. Until our mirror neurons have been stimulated it can be virtually impossible to move forward in productive dialogue. Yet, once we receive the mirroring that our brains need, our nervous system and defensive strategies can begin to relax. When our brains engage in empathic connection it re-wires the nervous system. 

NERVOUS SYSTEM REGULATION

When our defensive strategies are engaged we are essentially locked into an instinctual "fight or flight" response. 

In this state the brain produces the stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones give signals to our bodies which have a cascade of effects including a shut-down of the pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain responsible for reason), a subtle contraction of the muscles into a defensive posture, increased heart rate and breathing. It is essentially impossible to have productive, solution-based communication when we are in this "fight or flight" response. 

However, when the brain receives empathy our defensive strategies are naturally de-activated because our instinctual subconscious mind no longer perceives a direct threat. In this "rest and repair" state our pre-frontal cortex comes back online, and our brains begin to produce the feel-good hormones oxytocin and dopamine which tremendously support the communication process by increasing our sense of inherent well-being. 

THE PSYCHE and IFS

Perhaps the most cutting edge and enlightened form of therapy practiced today is the Internal Family Systems model (IFS). When we talk about defensive strategies what we are really describing is the complex internal system that the psyche has developed in order to navigate the inherent challenges of being alive. Each part of the psyche may have different perceptions, feelings and coping strategies. This is why we often think and feel so many different things about one situation. The strategies these parts use to protect us can sometimes inadvertently create conflict in our lives. Sometimes these parts of ourselves will even come into opposition with each other. This is when we might experience internal conflict such as indecision, shame or even self hatred. 

Through the IFS model we can engage with any and all parts that might be present with unconditional acceptance, curiosity and compassion. As each part receives the understanding that it needs the unconscious defensive strategy it is using naturally relaxes. From this place of inner ease and connection new possibilities can arise effortlessly.  

The IFS process is very effective at creating peace, harmony and healing within ourselves, and it is equally effective at supporting the mediation process with another person.

WHY IT IS EFFECTIVE

 These processes work together synergistically to create optimal outcomes for all parties because everyones most essential communication needs are being fully met and supported. This in turn allows new opportunities for solutions, growth and even healing to arise effortlessly. 

AS YOUR MEDIATOR & COACH

While all of these concepts and skills may sound daunting, it is not necessary to become an expert in order to benefit from them. 

As a skilled practitioner I will guide you through each process seamlessly by intuiting what is most needed in each moment ... Allowing you to be safe, secure and fully supported. 

IT WOULD BE MY HONOR TO SUPPORT YOU IN YOUR GOALS FOR RESOLUTION.